World of Jonathan berman

Politicians cry about a single death in wartime, while the Governments they work for have no problem starting the next one. And make no mistake, it's only the marketing geared to the people, and not the agendas. Because if they were, perhaps they would try other solutions before war, perhaps cops would use their other skills; negotiation, pepper spray, tasers, and judo before reaching for their gun. But it never works that way does it? Cops reach for their gun first and governments call their drones. And we? We react, content with our conclusions because we're too afraid to hear the truth, no matter what the truth may be.

There's a story in the microcosm, about a man standing at a bridge he cannot see over, he only dreads the monster he knows stands on the other side, waiting to maul him, to tear him limb from limb until dead... and yet, with a little courage, when he traverses that abyss finds nothing but a lovable kitten... that is our world now, in the macrocosm as it is in the personal journey... the hundredth monkey is fed by fear or love... the wolf at your door isn't at your door, you're looking into a mirror.

The city to me was always a magical place, full of curiosities and wonders, like Lombard Street, the beautiful architecture of the Opera House, the Exploratorium, and the mysteries of the deep dark water beneath the old stoic wooden columns at the pier... I felt like there was a hidden mystery in this world, and I really wanted to find it, perhaps a little like Moana looking out at the horizon.

I'll be moving back homeward in under four months after being gone close to 15 years. I always wanted to return someday, and I remember when that felt so endlessly and unreachably far away.

I've learned a lot about myself and relationships, and I'll be learning still, as long as I live.

But I'm not just coming home, I'm moving in with my fiance, who 20 years I met in San Diego, another life, another world, and she was the most amazing woman I'd ever met, and she still is. And when we kissed then, it's like we both woke up inside, and it still feels like that today.

Coming home to a family I love and admire and bemuse myself with how ridiculous we all can be, but how unique, intelligent, and intrigued by life... I can't wait to see my mom's new home, new, she's lived there 12 years... sigh.. sometimes you take the long road home. And "sometimes you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right."

The first time you see a movie, you are looking for diamonds. And if it fails to provide them, watch it a second time later on, since you're not looking for diamonds anymore, you are now looking at what shine whatever stone it is has, when you hold it up to this new light, you are likely to appreciate it for what it is, even if it is not a diamond. The diamond expectation can do more harm than good when it comes to seeing a movie for the first time.

I have seen this phenomenon many times with films I hated upon first viewing, but either later loved or simply enjoyed for what they were: The Village, The Hellraiser sequel... these all come to mind.

We are born into a fools paradise of Capitalism and capitulation. Where we are taught we lack, we are taught we need, we are taught original sin... and that if we just opened ourselves to this or that, bought this or that, prayed to this or that, we’d all be okay. We would find an escape from the terror of mortality, of want, of endless need. We are bred to be hungry ghosts in this fresh hell, and it is all a lie.

Witches are children, always seeking protection from an outside world that does not exist... ultimately your true power lies not in hiding from the world, but in being able to adapt to it. The deeper truth is that there is no outside world. All the colors, and crystals and spells... it's teaching you how to adapt yourself, not the world. There is only one mind, and we are all a part of it... in a dance, not a maze.

When I say God, ghosts, demons, devils, and all these things do not exist... my point is not that beauty and darkness do not exist, certainly they do... but these externalized idealogies and archetypes and folktales themselves only allow us to connect with our own fear, desire, emotions, and transcendence... but ultimately, those concepts are all illusions. While you are attached to the names and forms, I am embracing the spirit behind them. Like training wheels on a spiritual bicycle. You see, when I found your God it wasn't the end of my journey, it was only the beginning.

If this makes you feel sorry for me, hoping I'll find God or something along those lines, I can only say to you thus: you are living in a world different than I have found, we are both fine where we are, as long as we are true to ourselves and the love within us. I wish you well.

It's fascinating how many think that because they get chills or some physical symptom when they talk about things that scare them, that's proof that the paranormal is real... when in fact all you've done is self-activate your fight or flight response by opening yourself up to your own fear. In a way you ran a self-diagnostic, and all you have proven is that your fight or flight is working as intended. That is all.

Imagine you are a tall cliff, you are hanging rock, and the only way you can be happy is if you get your waterfall active... the waterfall of your heart... so ask yourself, what gets your heart flowing? Your emotions pouring with the beauty of your highest aspirations and inspirations? To reflect eternity upon the once dry rock of your stoic and statuesque and necessarily grounded and sturdy exterior? Music? Art? What beauty gives rise to your inner wings which long to fly? You must feed the beauty or you wind up feeding the beast of fear, of stagnacy, of pain and suffering and the endless grind... be the oil for the gears and not the fears

.:.

I'm much more open than I used to be, so it's interesting to go back to the things I rejected offhand for what I've learned now were the quick judgments of youth.

.:.

Send me a crystal... I will encode my memories of the event into it and send it back to you... we live in a world where that kind of technology exists, right?

December 14, 2017

If you ever wonder what's holding you back: It's fear
If you ever wonder who's holding you back: It's you
How old are you? Are you happy? Are you at peace?

Is there something meaningful to you, essential to your existence that you feel compelled to do? Is it more than one thing?

Look around you, find and create a list of everything you've ever bought that was a tool intended to help you reach your goal.

You should be using these tools every day of your life.

Tune in to yourself by slowing down. Do not indulge any sensory data, create a sensory deprivation tank of your surroundings...

until you become a better listener, and begin to hear and see the energy of your compelling inner flow, your motivations and conclusions, judgments, hopes and fears in your every deed.

In this space, clarity is cultivated, but so is delusion, so let it go, close your eyes, breathe.... you are an echo chamber, and you are always knocking at the door of your senses...

December 15, 2017

I never saw the movie, but I really like the Netflix series, "She's Gotta Have It"... I find the raw, honest, primer-introduction, relation of the white hippie to afro-woman experience balance to be an interesting exploration of cultural and social intersection and introspection, which leaves the heart a bit more open , inclusive, empathetic and proud.

.:.

An animacule of sound or smell reaches out to the senses in
an unleashed flood of every memory pertaining to a single act.

The vase that breaks, the heart that hides, the eyes that seek, endlessly looking to stars at night... an echo that went out long before we took our first steps, and yet, we still remember. We still see its light.

We are the waterfall that purifies the earth, echoes knocking on ancient rebirth. We are the tide reaching up forever from the floor, heavy, ladened, empty, on the heart's forgotten shores.

We grow a tree hydroponically in tears.
We grow a new world of wonder, to outlast our fears.

We believe.

.:.

December 17, 2017

When I was about 10 years old I became obsessed with Old Time Radio... I loved going to bed, clutching my little black boxy AM transistor radio under the covers, it was either that or a flash light with comic books... I was a fairly typical boy in many ways growing up. If you think about it, old time radio shows like The Shadow, Inner Sanctum, and other scary radio plays had great music, archaic and mysterious voices and effects, larger than life narrators and commercials from out of another time, might as well be another universe, a universe to escape into... they were truly the original creepy pasta. And I still love spooky stories to this day. There are Old Time Radio apps for streaming thousands of shows, including the ones I grew up with... I wasn't all spookfest though, I loved funny and cute shows too, shows like My Friend Irma and Fibber McGee and Molly, or Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House.

Today I don't know much about the cute stories, but I do know two pretty great creepy pasta youtube channels.

Look up: "Lazy Masqeurade" and "Doctor Horror" - they're both very fun, fairly tame, I'm not inti anything deviant, just the classical style of spooky stories, Twilight Zone is a personal favorite, Night Gallery gave me nightmares.... but I loved it anyway like a belly ache from too much cake, but you just keep coming back.

December 20, 2017

I'm not an unbeliever, I'm just smarter than your typical believer, because I don't let emotions blind me from scientific research and true investigation. True investigation is objective, rigorous, open, but always digging deeper... the truth is not a conclusion, but an ongoing journey...

A heretic is someone who questions... imagine that. There was a time when people who merely questioned the world, or that which is taken as "gospel" were put to death. And honestly, we haven't matured that much...

Remember what Aristotle said... It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

That means, no attachment, no fear, just the curiosity to explore... that is what is referred to as going through life with your eyes open.

I also tend to side with Anaïs Nin who said, "We do not see the world as it is, but as we are." She was very wise.

December 22, 2017

There is an old tale that says, when a loved one is dying, open a window so their spirit can fly free... I never believed such tales until the day my sweet boy Neptune died in my arms as I held him by the open window. Stories mean little until you live them. Stories are the training wheels of experience. Never let the experiences of your life take a back seat to the stories in your head.

December 23, 2017

I loved the new Star Wars, because I believe in the unbroken chain in the lineage of generations... the movie had the right message, the right heart, and the right amount of action with levity to balance out the seriousness and depth of the film. I would highly recommend it for old and young alike. The first live-action movie I ever saw was Star Wars 1977 when I was 4. I think once you stop finding new things to love, new music, new ideas... you have given up... you have stopped growing... learn from your experience, digest it, compress it, burn out the dross, grow some flowers, and then open yourself to new rain, new soil... connect, listen, learn and love. Help build the bridges for the next generation... you don't always have to kill the past to create something new... gratitude is so important. No one makes it alone. I love you who came before and you who come after. We are at a beautiful crossroads right now. The waking are taking their power back, recognizing their worth, in a time of rebirth.

The goal of my practice is not truth, or power, or knowledge... but the capacity to love and be loved.

Just know, the opposite of pecan is not pecan't.